Updated: Feb 1, 2018
Here goes nothing and everything all at the same time...
As I sit here contemplating the perfect words for this blog entry, I am overcome with emotion. Waves of sadness wash over me as I reflect on the events and conversions that lead me here today to share this truth. I've never been more afraid to bare my soul yet so Divinely supported to do so at the same time.
So here goes nothing, and everything all at the same time...
“Did you ever feel that you had a story to tell? ”
I have a beautiful soul to thank for today's inspiration. He has given me permission to share his story with all of you today. My dear friends Jr Robles, I simply adore you for your strength and passion. For always bearing your heart and soul. For reminding me that it is OK to love deeply and share emotionally. I am deeply grateful to you and for you.
Who am I really? Am I the result of my past experiences?
When I look at you I am reminded of all that is amazing and beautiful in this world. Yet I also see the wreckage. The pain that resides within your heart as a result of growing up a Gay man in our misguided society. I can't even begin to imagine the struggles that you have had to endure and overcome in your life. Misguided religions, society, your family and friends telling you over and over that you are flawed, less than, unworthy, and undeserving of God's love and acceptance. Yet this is the farthest thing from the Truth. You are here on purpose and nothing about you is flawed.
To think that you questioned your true self based on the fear based beliefs of others given what you went through, blows my mind. Lets take a step back and reflect. At age 5 the sweet and innocent boy that was you, had his trust and body violated by a man. A family member (your cousin) exploited your innocence for his own sick perverted self gratification. He intimidated you and threatened to hurt your family in an effort to control you so that he may continue to terrorize you for the next 3 years. It sickens me to think that people like this exist in our world.
This leads me down an even darker path.. the twisted belief that you may be Gay as a result of your molestation?! I am deeply sorry for the confused, misguided, and fear based attacks you endured from outside parties.
You told me of the confusion it created within you and the question this judgement raised. "Who am I? Am I a result of my experiences?" "Would I still be Gay if I hadn't been molested by a man as a child?" I can say with absolute confidence that you were born this way. Are there instances that this may be the case? There most certainly may be. I am not here to argue this point. I am here to tell you that I love you for the absolutely perfect Divine creation that is you! That is all of us!!
Healing happens when you love all of you regardless of external judgement.
“I am here to tell you that I love you for the absolutely perfect Divine creation that is you!”
Each and every one of us was created on purpose with a purpose. An amazing, profound, and Divinely guided purpose. This is the authentic truth of my heart. My dear friend Jr's life struggles may or may not mirror your own. However, we all go through our own version of struggles in life. It is my heart's desire to inspire you to look within and heal the parts of your self that hinder you from shining your light the brightest. The events that have made up your life are not a reflection of you nor do they define you. Learn from them, grow and find your truth as you realize that everything in life happens for us and not to us.
Everything in life happens FOR us... not TO us.
My life changed when I came to the realization of the truth that the above statement holds. We go through life so wound up in our day to day to-dos that we lose sight of the wonder that is our life. We were not made to go through our lives lost and confused, passing time engaging in meaningless conversations, lackluster interactions and unfulfilling careers. Its time we own our truth, listen to the nudges (Divine Inspiration) that are trying so hard to get our attention so that we may re-calculate the direction of our lives.