Self created pain and My Cancer Scare

What is fear really?

The eye of the beholder: A mole, or a beauty mark?

As I sit and reflect on the events of the day, post pot-op visit (had a mole removal due to the overwhelming recommendation of two doctors) . I find myself considering the concept of fear as it applies to the unknown and is it actually real? The fear that creeps in when we are faced with a level of uncertainty we are not comfortable with. A level of uncertainty that we have not yet built up an arsenal against dismantling with ease.

Do you ever consider that the pain we create for ourselves, feeding fear, is unnecessary?

That is not to say that the concern is invalid and that we should simply ignore or brush off the responsibility of taking action in our lives (ie having said mole removed).

Quite the contrary.. taking aligned inspired action as you feel the nudge (inner guidance) to do so, is YOUR most necessary contribution.

Is fear really necessary? Or any emotion actually.

Have we as human beings, given too much power, too much meaning to or feelings? Allowing them to dictate what we do or do not do.

Consider that time you stayed in an all too toxic relationship situation because of the emotional attachment. Or that time that you failed to go have that mole checked for fear that it may not be so benign?

So there I was, sitting in the chair, waiting rather impatiently (with massive tightness in my chest), already intuitively fully aware of the answer but resisting it non the less. My doctor walked in to the room and not so casually informed me that the mole I had removed was actually a Basal Cell Carcinoma.. which is (you guessed it) a form of skin cancer.

All the emotions rushed in.. fear, sadness, anger and a does of judgment (how did I let this happen??)...

On the drive home, after scheduling my surgery to remove the malignant tissue, for the following week.. I let all of it come up and through me. I let my self feel all the feeling, cry the tears, release the judgement, and assert that I have the power of creation on my side and I wasn't going anywhere any time soon!

I asked myself.. "what is the lesson here and how can I use this for good?

"I choose to see this differently. I choose to see myself on the other side of this.. stronger having over come .. rather than having never gone through this"

Fast forward to this past Saturday.. another week post surgery this time..

There I was again, sitting in the doctors chair waiting to confirm that he had in fact "gotten it all" as he put it (I love my dr.. he is an angel.. just so we are clear ).. feeling a bit of anxious yet, at the same time, calm energy.

I know that it was done... and felt in my being that he had in fact "gotten it all" (as I had felt that something wasn't quite right during that first visit) ..

When he entered the room and told me:

"The test came back.. you are cancer free!"

I smiled and took a deep breath.. exhaling and dropping into a sense of support that I felt in that moment.

The days and weeks leading up to this day could have gone very different had I not chosen how I got to show up for myself during a moment of uncertainty. I leaned on my faith... I chose to know that everything was working out for me perfectly despite the discomfort of the current lesson.

I shared my story every step of the way.. and here I am sharing my final thoughts (for now.. because who knows when I may be inspired to share again)..

No matter the circumstances you are facing in the current moment.. everything is always truly working out for your greatest good.

You get to choose how you feel and the action you take in response.

When facing adversity.. check in with yourself.. ask yourself.. am I leaning on faith or perpetuating fear?

Am I in resistance or total acceptance? ... of what is (I am not speaking of the definition of surrender where you roll over and do nothing.. this level of acceptance takes doing the work of exercising faith within and taking action as you feel guided.)

I knew the moment I first noticed this mole back in 2015 that something was different about this one (I mean I have sooo many.. all over.. and never had this feeling come over me before). This was my intuition.. my inner guidance system communicating.. quietly nudging me to go have it looked at...

Yet I avoided.. brushed it off.. ignored the message..

My biggest take away from this experience:

"We get to Trust ourselves, face our fears head on.. and lean on that Trust with confidence. Knowing that we are always being guided to our highest and best."

Where in your life have you been avoiding, brushing off, ignoring a message nagging at you from that space within you that know what is of your highest and best?

I invite you to consider listening to that voice within you .. it is guiding you, always, exactly ... to what is of your greatest good.

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